Milk Tea

woah so much has happened since i've posted on here!
 
school started and that was boring and my boyfriend broke up with me and i was super upset about it for about a week and then i got the chance to say something to someone that i should have said 3 years ago and it worked out for the better!
i don't know who looks at my stuff here so i'm going to refrain from talking any more on the subject for various reasons pertaining certain things (oooh mysterious).
 
other than that, school is a bummer. i hate tuesdays, fridays and every second thursday because i have psych, media and math of those days. i'm pretty sure my hatred stems from the math and i'm doing horribly anyway so guess what i'm doing! dropping math after i pass unit one! *gasp*
it's not that i'm not capable it's just that no fiber in my whole body wants to do the subject at all. i mean if it was a prereq for my course i'd totally put more effort in but when it comes down to it, i only really continued doing it because i /thought/ my mum would want me to be 'sensible'.
i later found out (circa 2 weeks ago) that she is just happy for me to be doing what i want, rather than something that i'm not enjoying.
with that in mind i told her i was dropping maths and she said okay but i feel like there was a bit of motherhood attached to the tone of her voice.
all i have to do now is decide what i'm going to do instead of maths.
 
the weather is finally getting colder and it makes my heart swell because all the best things happen in winter.
summer is death for me because my brain is so fried i don't know how to function.
 
i'm doing theatre this year and hopefully i'll continue doing it next year because it's my favorite subject. i know i've said this before but i never thought it would be something that i would get into but it's safe to say that i really love it and if i were to be shamefully honest, i actually don't stop talking about it to my parents.
 
i've started an illustration blog with all my novice artwork (the url is: arcticpush.tumblr.com) and it's nice to draw things but i feel shallow and like i'm missing something when i look at other peoples art.
i have all the tools and the equipment and what i thought to be a good imagination to do nice art but it just won't come out that way on the screen (or paper)
 
oh and i've started to drive to school and occasionally to badminton. it's still kind of scary but i love it all the same.
 
i guess that's enough babbling for me, for now.

I'm currently watching River Cottage and it's a breakfast special (yesssssss).
 
I got my learners yesterday!!!!!
I did have a bit of an ordeal though. We got there and they said that my birth certificate and bank statement wasn't enough. SO we had to drive all the way home and go and get my atm card or id card. I was crying and crying because my dad was yelling at me for not having my purse. I was so stressed.
My mum thought that I shouldn't have gone back because I was so upset and un confident. I said I'd go back and do it (which I did) because I'd been wanting to do it for the whole of 2012 and I wasn't going to give it up now.
 
blah blah blah... I ended up getting 91%!!!!!!!!
 
Afterwards when we dropped my sister off at her friends for the night my dad took me to the badminton centre to drive on the semi off road track that goes around it (plus an empty car park). I was pretty good, even if I did almost hit a tree when I didn't fully lock the steering wheel when we went round a corner...
 
School starts in T-minus 3 days! I'm excited because truth be told, I do actually enjoy school and it's antics but I hate being told what to do 100% of the time so that's a bummer.
 
Not forgetting the tv show that I'm watching... I'm going to make a list of things to eat for breakfast during the school week because I hate stressing about standing around the toaster to make sure my sad gluten free bread doesn't burn.
 
I'm revving up my skin care + school make up routine to prepare myself for a maximum of 15 minutes in front of mirror so I can spend a little more time on my hair (because I'd hate to waste my time with this little cute cut i've got going on) and accessories (aka headbands, bows, socks, coats, cardigans, jewelry).
I know school is school and there is a uniform but I personally feel more motivated and totally more confident and myself when I'd got less 'i've rolled out of bed' and more of a 'i care about myself and don't want you people to think i live in a cardboard box without a mirror'.
 
I need to invest in a pair of boots like those that are featured in my set because even though i have similar ones, they have a heel and sometimes I get looked at when I go out with them on.

Today has been utterly exhausting! All I did was training and then came home and feel into a mopey heap.
 
I've finally gotten around to watching Submarine after listening to the soundtrack over and over for the last week. It's beautiful. Oliver is someone that I think I would love to be around even if he is slightly on the shy side.
 
It's super hot here and I hate it. I think I'm going to watch Sherlock or something because I miss that kind of cinematic filming (and Benedict Cumberbatch, but who's really counting that gorgeous face?).
 
I have my learners test tomorrow afternoon and I'm packing myself that I'm going to fail it. The rules are simple enough but obviously put into the situation of a 'test' it's going to be slightly harder.
 
Anyway, I had a great day yesterday and am sad that today didn't end up like that.

I know this set it crap but I'm just really chuffed right now.
 
I saw my boyfriend today and it was really great. I got butterflies and I couldn't stop laughing. I feel our relationship developing and it's just really lovely right now. It's not serious but it's the type were it has the potential to be. I like him a lot and he makes my stomach knot but I guess I can forgive him.
 
We don't PDA so give kudos to us (and we haven't made out like a bajillion times so it's kind of nice every time I do kiss him). Mostly we just hang out like friends. (like I said, blah blah ~progressing~ so we act a little bit more like a couple now but not like 'ugh god third wheel get me out of here' kind of thing)
 
I really feel myself falling for him more every time I see him and that's the best feeling.
 
(I KNOW I HATE ME TOO FOR BEING SUCH A SAPPY DOUCHE, I KNOW.)

Homework progress!!! I'm now officially almost half way through the book! That includes chapter summaries!!!!
 
I finished the hard copy of full frontal & it's okay i'm wearing really big nickers and am now up to knocked out by my nuga nugas. I SOMETIMES QUESTION MY READING CHOICES (this is one of those times.)
 
This set it very orange simply because my hair is going slightly on the ginger side.
 
My ear has gotten 30% better!!! Which means hopefully by the time school goes back i don't have to say 'oh don't worry it's just a little sore' when i show people it. My mum even feels a little bit more sorry about it and offered to go to the doctor's and get some antibiotics for it if it doesn't get any better in the next 3 days.
 
Speaking of Doctors....I have this weird attachment to Matt Smith and I just wish he was like, in my life and then I remember Aiden who is really fucking close and I get all funny because it's not Matt Smith reminding me of Aiden it's the other way around and then I remember he's at the other end of the country and ugh this sucks I want my best friend ::::(((((((((
 
There are only two more holiday training session and I could not be more excited gah.

I got a hair cut today!!!
It's shorter at the back and all round, basically but the back bottom layer is /almost/ an undercut. She didn't use a shaver or anything so it's not shaved or anything but still. I love it.
 
I'm trying to get my hands on a good thinly striped tee or long sleeve but it's proving a difficult task. I don't like shirts snug to my tummy so it's even harder.
 
This afternoon my mum went all 'your ear isn't meant to be pierced there that's why it's infected blah blah blah...but do what u want cos it's ur body lol' thing on me and I had literally no other choice but to say 'whatever i don't curr' and walk away because it's not my fault my body doesn't want to heal fast enough to stop infection.
 
Aaaaaaahhhhhh I don't know what to say to Kristian. I have all these feelings bottled up and I'm literally just sitting here brooding. I am too wimpy to tell him anything and he takes 2+ hours to answer me so there is no way I can sit through that amount of time checking my phone with a knot of anxiety in my throat.
 
I haven't progressed over the last 2 days with Felix Holt. I was into it a little bit when two characters were flirting and its a tad poetically written but then the next two chapters were about the boring plot line so I stopped reading in protest of lack of romance.
 
Is it sad that I kind of miss the mundane routine of school? get up, get dressed, day of school, come home etc etc. Every day is different but the same in many ways.
 
I really miss being held.

So it's getting later into the night and I'm a cuddler so naturally I want my boyfriend here (but he's not so have a set based on ~feeeeeeellllinnngssss~)
 
Counting down the hours until my hair cut + the days til I see Ed Sheeran live!
 
I did a massive haul of items this afternoon so I'm thoroughly stocked for sets to come.
 
I remember when I was younger (aka 13 - 14 1/2) I hated to think that I was girly because I guess I felt like it was weak??? Now I kind of really like embracing the super feminine side to my personality as well as dressing in casuals such as the clothes I've included in my set (maroon shirt was put in there bc I have this vague memory of my bf wearing one and I liked it so). Anyway, I've grown a lot and am glad to be where I am now, even if I don't really know where that is.
 
I never would have thought I'd be pursuing my schooling towards something ~creative~ like film or art/writing because I was always set on doing something scientific or music based (which until the middle of last year I was still content on doing) but I think something just switched over in my brain and I really know that this ~artsy~ path is the one I want to take. Even if I spend the majority of the time behind the scenes doing lighting or sound or anything like that, I know I'll be in the environment I love and that's all that counts.
 
Anyway, I've got two more years left of school to swing my ideas around and so forth so I'm not that bothered. (I've chosen subjects I want to do, not that I 'have' to so it doesn't really matter if I change my mind).
 
BACK TO THE BASIS OF THIS POST...
 
I haven't had boyfriend 'feels' for a long time (approx 10 months lol) and it's really overwhelming to experience them again. It's admittedly really awkward, girly and just inter-personally embarrassing to be honest. It's the whole butterflies affair, you know? We don't speak much via text and etc and even then we just text to organize things so I don't really have that connection over technology to tell him things such as 'i miss you' without thinking I'm annoying or stupid or whatever. I'm a wuss but I guess I don't want to make a fool of myself by telling him something that he doesn't reciprocate back.
 
Maybe I should tell you about him? (or future me, either one)
Uhm, he's super nice and has a great sense of humor. He's kinda cute but then like, proper 'hot' attractive at the same time and that's hard to master so a+ to him. He just generally a great person who is always there to listen. Plus his hands are really nice to hold > 3 <
 
That's way to much of a blog and I'm totally sorry if you read all that and thought it was a waste of time.

Parisian vibe going on today.
Lisa Mitchell is the muse for this (as well as paris, duh)
 
No less than 2 minutes ago there was a minor car crash outside my house!!! I nearly jumped out of my socks. Both cars drove away but still, it was a bloody awful sound.
 
I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow. Hopefully I don't even up looking like a marshmallow. currently I feel like I've got earmuffs on because my hair feels all stroppy and limp.
 
School starts in a week and a bit and I'm really not looking forward to boring days (aka friday afternoons) thank buddha I don't have lame math on a friday afternoon anymore. A whole years worth of friday afternoons of math is enough for one life time, thank you very much.
 
I've been filling my 2013 diary with little pictures and i'd like to think it's cute.
 
I also kind of regret putting the horse shoe into my ear because I don't know if it looks better than my stud and it got super infected after I did (even though it was fine for like three days after I did it) but I just keep telling myself that the infection still would of happened and that it would have been worse because the back of the stud would of been in the way.
 
Oh well, it's done now and sure my ear is swollen a little and it keeps scabbing up at the back but it's going to be better soon and that's all cool with me.

ugh i have lost my designing craft ugh.
 
oh well, it'll come back eventually.

Grimes is great and i'm trying a new layout.